Cool, calm and definitely not collected

It's crazy how one question can open a tidal wave of emotion within you. For days I've been cool and calm and collected. Or so I thought. It seems that having your dreams shattered does take a toll on your mental health; or in this case mine. Trying hard to be okay with the hand I've been dealt does not actually mean I'm okay. And I'm not okay. Maybe it's the hormones or maybe it actually is just mood swings; I don't know. All I do know is that I'm glad that I've got it all out of my system. Feelings I didnt even know I had surfaced and many questions in my ever active brain were finally answered. I guess letting go sometimes actually does help. That's the thing with life; like a train, it moves on. It's just up to us to decide whether we're settling down for the ride. 

Butterflies. Or rather the whole damn zoo

There are moments in life which bring about a sudden change within a specific part of our human anatomy; our stomachs. The feeling of falling very hard, very fast causes this feeling, and I must say, it is a feeling that lasts not only a second or a moment but is remembered throughout your lifetime. Right now, I'm thinking of the way my stomach feels when my dad hits the accelerator on the roads towards the plateau; the simple sloping dips of a road can make me feel so wonderfully alive. Then there's the moment on the steepest roller coaster in the park where the carriage stops and teeters over the edge, and just before the plunge downwards, there's a feeling of freedom; of flying high up away from the world below. And when you touch the hand of the one your heart holds, well that's where the whole damn zoo comes in, and that emotion brings about the feeling of being found, of finally belonging. These are the moments that stay with us, because, not only do they affect our bodies, they stay in our minds. So basically what I'm trying to say is that you need look for these moments in your everyday life and live for them ❤️

Surprises

It's crazy how mothers can be all love and smiles one moment, and then in the other, they're breathing fire. Nevertheless, I love my mum and I think it's about time someone does something just for her, i.e. me. 

Planning a surprise party is not as easy as it seems. In reality, it's a total pain. The number of lies I've told within the past week should be enough for my parents to ground me for the rest of the year. It's crazy though, how only yesterday I was panicking about every little detail; the weather; the serviettes (like seriously); even the possibility of my mother not turning up, but when I woke up this very cold morning, I got it. I do not have control over many aspects of my life. So the weather will just have to give itself a face lift because well, it's my mothers special day! 

India trip

Living in Malawi, I thought I might have become accustomed to the sight of cattle on the roads yet I was taken by surprise, or more like shock, when a white cow the size of our land cruiser stopped next to us in the middle of the extreme traffic on the main highway. #indiathings