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Saturday, 17 December 2016

Moments and memories

Have you ever had one of those days where one thing goes unexpectantly wrong and that's it, you feel the rest of your day going down in crumbs? 

That's what happened to one very stressed out bride; my friend. Her wedding day - the day that will change the rest of her life - started, as expected, extremely early. I showed up early to take her to her appointment and as we were coming close to the beauticians place, she received a message that no, we were an hour too early for her appointment. 

Now, if you've met a bride, or been a bride, and just moments before the big day you find your plans not going as expected, will send any girl into a frenzy; bridezilla or not. But my friend, as it turns out, was very calm - in a sense. She kept apologising for wasting my time; obviously she felt like she was burdening me.

 - side note here: most brides always expect everyone - family and friends-  to go out of their way for them because they are 'the bride'. So it felt really good to be in the presence of a bride that didn't think only of herself and her endless dramas, and cared more about inconveniencing a friend. 

So back to the point, we figured there  was no point in going back home; being a Friday, and with the crazy traffic expected at 12 pm. So instead we decided to go and enjoy a yummy dessert of pancakes and icecream. 

So, what could have been a downer on one of the most important days of my friends life, was turned around and spun into a lovely dessert. I figured why waste time waiting idly, when you can turn those endless minutes into a moment for life. And now my friend will remember her wedding day as not being too early for her appointment but going out for dessert and having a breather from the minuscule details that bring a wedding together. 

We made the most of the moment. And that is how life should be. We need to stop looking at the glass of milk as being half empty or half full; instead look at it as a glass that belongs to us, and that we can do anything we want with it. That is life. It gives us moments but it is up to us to make the most of those moments and turn them into memories we can hold onto for the rest of our lives. 

Have any of you experienced anything similar? 

If yes, then good on you for taking a moment and turning it into a memory, one you will cherish for the rest of your life. 

Sunday, 11 December 2016

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Saturday, 10 December 2016

Fake. Or genuine? A question we ask ourselves too often these days.

This is gonna be another one of my 'disappointed with world' rants. Bare with me. 

For a week now, my closest friend - let's call her Purple (her favourite colour) - has been on the receiving side of so much damn drama. I just don't get it. She is one of the sweetest girls I know and always, I mean always, tries to avoid confrontations. So for someone who shies away from massive drama; for someone who apologises even when she's not in the wrong, to be going through such petty issues, is quite big. 

I was shocked when she reached out to me. She was accused of not being a good enough friend. Like what? My reaction exactly. 

Friendship is not about damn expectations. It's not about not doing 'enough'. That is not what the word means. Friendship is love and happiness. Friendship is understanding and bloody well accepting every little flaw and quirk in your friend. For all you know, the things that come so easy to you, could be equivalent to moving mountains for your friend. 

I swear, these days friendship is taken too lightly. It's so disappointing that if a 'friend' does something for you its out of some duty and with reluctance, using the term 'I have to'. NO! You don't bloody have to! That. Is. Not. The. Point. 

Purple and I always have this talk about doing things out of pleasure instead of duty. Making sure that our intentions are pure before we do anything for anyone. She gets it. It's not that hard. 

But that's the world now. So damn fake. For so long, I just stayed away from people, for the exact reason of lack of genuinity. I was tired of the competition girls think they have to have in their lives. I was mentally exhaust of all the fake smiles and the superficial air kisses. 

Recently, I started going out more, if only to get myself out of the depressed funk I found myself falling in. I though I had found genuine people. People I could relate to. But yet again, I was unpleasantly surprised by the ugliness behind what seemed like true, honest people. 

I just don't get it. I don't get the whole 'I did this for her, so she should do this for me'. Like why? Do you only give to get? Yes, every action does have a reaction. And yes, you do get what you give. So just imagine, the same person who you expected to return the favour does for you with the same intentions, like oh I don't know, invite you to her party just because you invited her to yours and not because she genuinely wanted you to be there, how would you feel? 

So, if you are reading this, and you find yourself doing things out of duty instead of merely for the receiving persons happiness then stop right there! Purify your intentions. It won't make a difference to the other person; they have no idea what you're thinking. But you do. And once you do something simply to put a smile on another persons face, trust me, you are going to feel a thousand times better about yourself. So be genuine. Simply for yourself. 

Wednesday, 7 December 2016

The little things

Do we ever stop to appreciate the little things? Actually, do we ever stop to do a little thing. A small smile here, a nod of understanding there, even a small gesture as comfort. Do we ever stop from our ever busy lives to just look around us, and try and see the people and the plants and the animals around us? Really see them. Do we ever try to understand the people around us? 

I feel as though we live in a world full of judgement, of trying to work up to being people we actually wouldn't even like if we met them. This is the world; where girls spend hours in front of their biggest enemy, trying to perfect themselves for the world that puts so many expectations on them to be the expected image, the image the world tells them is acceptable. This is the world; where boys have so much pressure on them to do the right thing and make the right decision with very little guidance from the people they should turn to; their parents. This is the world; where parents are trying so hard to give their children a 'life they never had' only to miss giving their children the life they actually did have; a life of happiness and love and the little things, where they would ride their bikes to the ice cream store and buy an ice cream for 5p or MK50, and they would enjoy that ice cream. they would not sit and stare and try to picturise it from countless of different angles for so long that by the time they are satisfied with their 'masterpiece', their ice cream has already melted. 

The little things that seemed to be little things at that time, seem like big things now. The small moments that the older generation took as part of their lifestyles are now cherished by the generations now whose souls are thirsty for more than the urban life; the online life. Life should not be about your next instagram post, or your next facebook status. To those who are reading this, if there is anyone that is reading this, I beg of you, please look for those little things that are actually the big things. Life is all about living through the little things, experiencing them with your eyes; not behind the screen of you iPhones. 

What are the little moments you enjoy? 
One of my favourite is that first sip of coffee in the morning. 
The warmth that comes from the mediocrity of 
everyday rituals that aren't very mediocre at all.